Author Archives: Kyle

One of the many things we’re blessed with in Portland is a bounty of farmer’s markets. There are so many, in fact, that there’s a website dedicated to the different ones held around the city. We had some unusually hot weather for this late in the season this past week, so I knew if I was going to do anything on Saturday (the high was 96), I needed to get it done early. That’s why I decided to go and check-out the Portland State University’s farmer’s market.

As many of you know, I moonlight as a college counselor, so this visit would be beneficial two-fold. I’ve often had my kids look-up PSU as a possible college option, however cautioning them that it’s a city campus so they might not have the same college  sensation that they would elsewhere. That advice is only sort of true. The college is actually very campusy, and the farmer’s market is held there each Saturday from March through December in the south park blocks.

I hopped on the streetcar and took it directly to the campus. It was so easy and I’m now kicking myself for not having done this sooner. After all, I only have a few months before this market will go into hibernation for awhile. When that happens, where am I going to get the farm fresh eggs I bought? Or the habanero cherry jelly? Or the gorgeous yellow heirloom tomato? Not to mention all the sampling I got to do. That was one of my favorite parts. I ate herbs de provence havarti, a variety of charcuterie, red pear, and the freshest goat cheese I’ve ever tasted. It reminded me of my 4-H days when we’d make goat’s milk ice cream in the pens at the fairgrounds.

What are your favorite farmer’s market finds? Brady and I are headed back next weekend so I can show him this not-so-hidden gem in our new home town. With wine tasting, food tasting, and the food carts there to eat from (I finally got to taste Pine State Biscuits), I have a feeling this will become a fall staple rain or shine.

Brady and I are obsessed with @Secretkebab on Twitter. While we’ve yet to use his services, we get a kick out of reading his ridiculous posts marketing Turkish delights that he delivers in NW Portland. Last weekend, we had dinner with friends, and passed around the phone at the table so each person could perform their own version of what his accent must sound like. Even the waiter was dying laughing. Brady thinks this person must be a witty, Jewish kid, because there’s no way someone could be that unintentionally funny. I don’t doubt that the person manning @Secretkebab is the real deal, but I think it’s time to settle the score and find out for sure.

With reviews on Yelp like this:

“So, there we were, leaning against the chainlink fence of the U-Haul rental place in the dark at 30th & Killingsworth. I was absentmindedly fumbling with the wad of cash in my pocket and trying to anticipate what the delivery guy would look like. I hand him $15. He pockets it and shoves a non-descript brown paper bag at me before disappearing into the night. Maitre D. and I walk back to the car feeling like we have a bagful of contraband. We immediately broke into them and were treated to homemade pita bread wrapped around juicy, wood-smoked, medium-rare lamb. Perfectly spiced and incredible.”

it’s hard to imagine the experience would be anything short of magical. His references: magical too. Hashish, boom boom, and ass picnics (whatever those are) have a way of creeping into each Tweet, their inferences neither known nor concerning. If you need a chuckle, follow along.

A bout of 3am sleeplessness last week had me trying to contain my laughter in bed while reading the following Tweet:

“@secretkebab: You call it hookah?! Turkis it is nargile!! I am fill with rose tobacoo hashish and banana skin!! And then I am on the wife!! BOOM BOOM!!”.

So when Brady asked me via BBM earlier, “What am I going to eat while you’re gone?!” (I’m was on a flight to Dallas while I wrote this), I simply replied, “Contact the Turk.” Here’s another hilarious one for posterity:

“@secretkebab: Ask me the wish for the lamb to come kisses nips nips tickel on the face and a man will come!! With kebab for you!! Hello?! HELLO DEER!!”